Miscellaneous Poetry
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DEAR LANDLORD (1987)
A broken window, a severed telephone line,
And just last week the cable.
Is it any wonder we're so fond of the neighbors?
They're always so ready and able.
They've taught us not to inhale
The pungent outside air,
And to watch our step on the way to the car
As there are piles of something there.
We thank the little poochies
For the capable guarding of our side.
Many the time we stood in the road,
A picture of terror and cried.
The early morning pounding of their hammer
Is merely another neighborly task,
As I lay in bed and wonder
How much longer can it last.
But now this year is just a memory
And for that we say a prayer
In hopes that next year will be kinder
And those neighbors will no longer be there.
HOLIDAY GREETINGS 1995
Now that Thanksgiving is past,
Is Christmas for behind?
Please tell me it's a long way off
Before I lose my mind.
Home for the holidays
Has a nice warm ring
As I sit in front of the tree
Pondering worldly things.
Hours spent in thought
While waiting for my son to visit.
Did I buy him what he wants
And is it too explicit.
I did my duty to him;
Raised that little boy.
Now he has a family of his own.
How I miss his cries of joy.
As the day approaches
I attempt to spread good cheer.
I hole up in my bedroom
And nurse an ice cold beer.
Yuletide spirit.
What does it all mean?
Putting on a friendly face
With prices that are obscene.
No matter what I think or do
I guess it's here to stay;
So I'll go to bed on the twenty-third,
Please wake me New Year's Day.
So happy friggin' holiday
To all my friends near and far.
I'm mailing this little poem
Because I'm too cheap to buy a card.
CHRISTMAS 1996
Like Santa's eyes, the ground is sparkling.
All that snow; and oh, all that purity.
I count my blessings every day.
That you, God, for my social security.
Houses gaily adorned in vivid flashing colors.
This is the life; yeah, this is living.
But a gnawing questions remains unanswered,
Why can't this wait until after Thanksgiving!
The festivities seem to commence earlier each year,
And I'm not sure what this implies;
But I constantly fret that in December
We will be preparing for the Fourth of July.
I know I shouldn't let it erode my thoughts.
I know I shouldn't attempt to keep up the pace.
But I'm a very methodical person
And like to see everything in its proper place.
So Happy Christmas and Merry New Year.
May health and success find you ready to wear.
Please excuse me now, I'm awfully busy.
Labor Day is coming and I must prepare.
CHRISTMAS 1997
Get out those credit cards, folks.
Christmas time is here.
Retrieve that butter knife from the drawer;
It's time to spread good cheer.
Mail order items (according to the postcard)
Are temporarily out of stock.
Okay, so I'm a bit nervous,
But then again when am I not.
A gift is no longer a surprise.
Nobody even had to probe.
My tongue once more betrayed me;
He knows he's getting a robe.
Cookies shaped like turkeys.
A Thanksgiving remnant no one ate.
Try to be gracious should you find them
Beautifying your holiday plate.
It's December, 1997. I am shattered.
Though I'm sure it's just a joke.
But I took a peek at my checkbook
And found I'm darn near broke.
Still I am sending best wishes
Along with my dubious good cheer.
Maybe things aren't that great,
But there's always hope next year.
CHRISTMAS 1998
December '98 has arrived.
I appear completely undaunted.
I'm trying to keep my cool,
But I think this house is haunted.
I hear a thud upstairs
And race to see what's fallen.
Not an item out of place;
Just a ghost come a-calling.
Humming from somewhere,
But I cannot pinpoint the spot.
Unintelligible voices so soft,
Suddenly I don't feel so hot.
Cleaning up the kitchen
I'm somewhat pale and wan.
I swear I won't let it get to me,
But the television just came on.
Some would shake with fear,
But that's just not my way.
If they insist upon staying here,
I'm going to demand they pay.
I'll require half of all expenses,
And there will be no special favors.
Should they obstinately refuse
I'll simply ship them to the neighbors.
Since it's Christmas time
And they've been living here for free
I'll be expecting something extra
Beneath the Christmas tree.
This tale may seem a little odd.
But I tell you it's all true.
So happy holidays and much joy
From all of us to you.
CHRISTMAS 2001
This year I vow to be cheery.
No matter what the price.
If other folks should aggravate me
I'll beam and be extra nice.
But stores are so overly crowded
That I'm frozen with panic and dread.
I'm gone for hours and hours
Just to buy a loaf of bread.
The cashiers seem unduly tired
As they attempt not to become unglued
By short-tempered, hostile customers
Who become progressively rude.
Though I'm riddled with anxiety
I'll plow through the throngs with force.
With my hastily scribbled gift list in hand,
It's to the dollar store, of course.
So season's greetings to all of you.
May the coming year be bright;
And for those, like me, who are in the dark,
I hope you find the light.
CHRISTMAS 2002
There will be no holiday poem this year,
But tis' no cause for alarm.
It's just difficult to be creative
With an IV in your arm.
It's to Syracuse for weekly treatments;
Through rain, ice and snow.
It's a wonder I can think at all
With this situation stressing me so.
To top it off my insurance won't pay,
And I ask how could this be
When every week there are several inmates
Getting treated for free.
But I must focus on myself
And refuse to dwell on those issues.
I am brave! I am strong!
Oh, God, where is that box of tissues?
Time to be aggressive.
Time to be on the attack.
Time to be like Arnold and say
Don't worry I'll be b-a-c-k!
CHRISTMAS 2003
There is a world full of pain.
There is a
world full of pride.
And then there is a world caught in between
With no
safe place to hide.
The years do not get easier
As sorrows are etched quite
deep;
And all efforts to cast a smile
Are in the corner, in a heap.
Around town, holiday banners unfurl
To display the season
with joy and glee.
My sole ornamentation on my front door
Is a stencil of
the sun and one lonely palm tree.
I'm goin through the motions,
But my heart just isn't in
it.
I yearn to be far away
Where hours are only minutes.
But as always I'll take a deep breath
And forge a path to
the stars.
And for one cold, clear moment
The night will be ours.
May your thoughts and prayers be answered.
May all that is
your be strong.
May this holiday be filled with blessings
As our journey
moves along.
CHRISTMAS 2004
My grandson is nearly ten now
And his wish list is quite
extensive.
Seems when he was younger,
Things were less expensive.
And
that company I once worked for;
You know, the one that went 'round the bend
Sends me a note from their bankrupt state
To advise me my pension will cease
in 2010.
Truly I thought I was looking forward to this holiday,
Albeit
with subdued delight and glee.
'Twas the first time in years,
But now it's
"woe is me!"
Gloom has returned with a vengeance
As I go about my tasks,
Hanging decorations;
Putting on my mask.
Naturally I have many blessings
Of which I rarely speak;
Like keeping my vocal cords limber
As I scream
and as I shriek.
(wild cat problem in the neighborhood)
I'm joyful for a
roof over my head
Though who knows how long it will last.
I'm happy for
the food in my belly.
Instant rice with cheese is hard to surpass.
But
most of all I'm content.
Let me give credit where credit is due
In saying
I cherish all that I have-
My family and friends like you.
TEN DAYS
Only ten days until Christmas
And my coughing has become
quite an affair.
My grandson, not always the most giving,
Has decided this
is something he wants to share.
Then there are the snowflakes,
light and
fluffy at first;
Changing steadily into one pound flakes
Until I am
totally immersed.
I am thoroughly drained,
Exhausted and so tired you see
That there is no energy left
To put up or decorate a Christmas tree.
But
here's to a most pleasant holiday.
May words of love and warmth be spread.
As for me I'll spend my day
Being toasty in the comfort of my bed.
(Yea-hoo!
Can't wait.)
CHRISTMAS 2009-P U
Can a female be a curmudgeon?
Maybe I'll be the first.
Some think I'm not too bad;
Others think I am the worst.
Is it because of 2009?
The year was truly brutal.
Although my efforts were sincere,
They turned out to be futile.
I suffered bone-chilling cold.
The unending rain...who
could forget?
There were days I actually wondered
Whether there'd be a
sun; would it ever set?
I'm a solitary soul
Sporadically going against the
grain.
When the holidays approach
I tend to be a bit less sane.
Last year I packed away my Christmas spirit;
However, I
cannot remember where.
I searched in all the closets,
But it simply was
not there.
Despite my humbug blues
Merry Christmas from the bottom of
my heart.
May all your woes be in the past
As the New Year hails a brand
new start.
HAVE A DELIGHTFUL HOLIDAY!
from the curmudgeon :(
CHRISTMAS 2010
Today is Thanksgiving day,
And I am focused on a
mission.
Like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof,
It's all about tradition.
Yes, it's time for the yearly ode.
I'll try to keep it
brief.
Is that a sigh I"m hearing?
A momentous sigh of relief?
I'm bundled up in layers
If the truth be told.
Officially it's not winter yet,
But still I think it's way too cold.
May your Christmas be warm and merry.
May the spirit of
Love fill the air.
May your wildest dreams be realized;
May peace reign
everywhere.
PS, Told ya I'd keep it short. :)
CHRISTMAS 2011
I fear I have a problem;
And I'm not sure what to do.
It's regarding a feral feline
Who uses my yard to poo.
I know the lawn has been tainted
The moment I step out the
door.
My face and nose scrunch up
At the odor I abhor.
Purchasing a solar animal repellent,
I'm ending all the
grief.
Hallelujah! I have won the raging battle;
But the victory is
discouragingly brief.
For after a few days have passed,
He is up to the same old
tricks.
This time under the cover of darkness
He commences his mighty
blitz.
He's often found on the front porch
Claiming it for all to
see.
He arches an eyebrow just a hair
Barely acknowledging me.
He struts across the lawn
Both focused and intent.
I
want to throw in the towel;
My energy is spent.
Now Christmas is fast approaching,
And my worries have
increased.
There may be other lawn ornaments soon
Left by an entirely
different beast.
So should I espy a reindeer in the yard,
I promise
not to get miffed.
After all he may be the only one
Leaving me a Christmas
gift.